oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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