I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
