you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
