So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's great music for shaving your balls
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
