With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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