Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
