It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
