The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
