I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
