We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
