where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
