There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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