Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
