so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
