addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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