Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
