Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
