Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
