i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We have started to decorate penises.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
