real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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