I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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