Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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