1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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