I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
