but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
