he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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