That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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