Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
