508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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