$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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