I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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