oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
