dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
