Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
