i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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