I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
