Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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