Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
