he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
