alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
