i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
