shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
