i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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