I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
