some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
