He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
