wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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