Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
