YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
