you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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