dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
